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Do not love me, it’s a waste of time. (via blackorwhitelife)
Oh my god.
I’m worried that one day
my family will add your name
to the list of things to never say around me
and sometimes, when you kiss me
with your records playing in the background
I wonder if I’ll hate that song next October.
Yesterday, I looked at you
and tried to calculate what the odds are
that we’ll rip each other’s hearts apart
and the best I could come up with
and even this feels optimistic.
I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m scared
but there’s no one I’d rather be scared with than you.
1. Do not date a boy who does not care what your favourite song is. The boy who does not care what melodies ignite your heart strings with love and wonder while staring at passing street lights on the last train home, will not care if it’s 2 a.m. and your heart is breaking.
2. Do not let anyone fold you up like last winters tattered scarf and put you away with the others in a neatly labeled box. Even when there’s thunder and the sky is crying, you are your mum’s favourite summer dress. You are to wear yourself like you believe it.
3. We are all stories. Write yours how you want. Make today’s chapter about purposely taking the wrong bus and discovering a tiny blue tea shop, or folding origami paper hearts over and over on your window sill. Just make sure it’s something you’d enjoy reading.
4. I will always try to save you.
5. Someday you will be 19 and lost and heartbroken and you will think about a place you’ve seen on TV or heard or read about in a book or seen a picture of. You will feel your heart drop into your stomach. Go there. For a day, a month, forever, but it’s important that you go.
6. The world is so beautiful. Do not let the slumped over homeless man outside the convenience store or the stories of guns and bombs on the television let you believe otherwise. We are all so lost. All of us. We all show it in different ways. I write bad poems. Others start wars. There is no inherent evil, only good people searching too hard.
7. I love everything about you.
8. Money turns people into liars and emotional ghosts. School grades are an inaccurate representation of you. Measure your life’s worth in how many times you’ve nearly lost your life to laughter, how many books you’ve closed with happy tears in your eyes, people whose lives you’ve brought joy to, marshmallows eaten, or countries visited.
9. Don’t ever let anyone tell you to stop crying. Cry if you want to. It’s okay. You’re allowed.
10. My best friend once told me that the most important decision he had ever made was to love everyone and everything. He’s the only person I’ve ever known to have a viewable aura of light around him. Don’t forget to love this world, to love people. Be light. You are already mine.10 things I will tell my daughter. (via awkwarddly)
You’re going to be sad.
You’re going to want to scream and punch things.
Let out every ounce of anger you have.
Sit on the floor and cry until you feel numb.
Listen to songs that make your heart sink to your feet.
Write angry letters to all the people who have broken you, left you, ignored you or hurt you.
Throw your hairbrush at the wall.
Do it twelve times.
Do it until you feel like you can breathe again.
You’re going to be sad.
You’re going to want to hurt yourself.
Don’t you dare do it.
Sit on the floor and watch cartoons like you did when you were little.
Listen to songs that make you want to dance around your bedroom in your underwear at 3 A.M.
Make paper airplanes out of those angry letters and watch them soar into the fireplace.
Brush all the knots out of your hair and say “I am worth it” into the mirror.
Say it twelve times.
Say it until you feel like you can breathe again.
You’re going to be sad.
You’re going to get through it.
1. high school will drain you. it’s panic attacks in the hallway and crying in the bathroom and eating lunch in the back of the library because the cafeteria makes your heart beat too fast. It’s getting high and throwing up. you will learn a lot about death and how to treat your cuts. You will also learn what it’s like to get drunk and laugh at the stars and how to write poetry that makes the world hurt less. You will read books that you fall in love with. you will fall in love. you’ll get closer to your mother because you’ll need someone to help you with your math homework and teach you how to put on your makeup and wipe away your tears.
2. the first boy you fall in love with will break you. he’ll tell you he loves you and convince you to fuck him in the back of his parents beat up volvo and then he’ll tell all his friends what you taste like and stop calling you before you fall asleep. delete his number and throw away the stuffed bear he won you at the carnival three weeks before. your carpet will be stained with tears and vomit and liquor and you’ll fight with you dad a lot more than usual. you’ll spit up pieces of your heart for weeks. you’ll burn alive when you see him in the halls. you won’t always feel like you’re cracking and a few months later you’ll be falling asleep on the phone with someone else. let it hurt for a little while but don’t let it kill you. never let it kill you.
3. the girl you’ve been best friends with for 9 years will stop speaking to you. one night you’ll make plans with her and she’ll cancel at the last minute because she’s sick but you’ll see her updating her snapchat story with pictures of empty alcohol bottles and blurry eyes and the mean girls who never let you sit with them. try to forgive her. she’s going through all the bloody, broken teeth, black and blue filled nights like you are. everyone’s trying to survive so don’t be too hard on anyone. especially yourself.
4. your teacher will ask the class questions and you’ll know the answers but you’ll keep your shaky hand between your knees and keep your tongue glued to the top of your mouth. don’t bother. speak out. nothing bad will happen. so when your biology teachers calls on you to tell him about last nights assignment, don’t stare at the spinning ground and mumble through numb lips. you’re smarter than you think and nobody is looking at you anyway.
5. you’re not his baby girl. when he tries to kiss your neck and pull you onto his lap, get up and leave. you don’t have to go upstairs with him. you don’t have to sleep with him because he’s begging. it’s not your job to fuck around with boys who can’t remember your name. take care of yourself even when he’s calling you a tease and whispering just loud enough for you to hear.
6. go out. go to football games and sit on hard metal bleachers for hours and take shots that taste like bleach and hold hands with the cute boy from english class. go to that dumb party and don’t complain or stand in the corner. things are always moving. people are always falling in love and laughing and putting themselves back together. be part of it.
7. ask for help. you don’t have to let yourself rot. when you don’t know how to do something in math class ask your teacher to explain. when your heart falls out of your chest and shatters at your feet, ask your best friend to come over and watch bad movies with you until you both feel less dead. when the boy you’re convinced you love kisses someone else, ask your mother to help stop the bleeding. you’re not alone so stop acting like it. no more breakdowns at three in the morning locked in the bathroom screaming. your older sister is still awake. crawl into bed with her.
8. it all ends. high school doesn’t last forever and 6 years from now you’ll be whole again. you won’t remember the names of the boys who made you cry or the girls who fucked you over. you won’t remember the names of the teachers who made your cheeks turn red and tied your stomach in knots. you won’t remember the time you fell down the stairs in front of everyone. you won’t remember what it’s like to want to die. try to remember the times you laughed so hard you spit out your drink. try to remember the people who helped put you back together. try to remember the people who bled with you when things got messy, when they call you at 3 in the morning to ask how you’ve been, answer the phone.
9. don’t forget to breathe.9 things to remember when you are 14 (via extrasad)